Remind me.

Sometimes I forget how much I love you.

I became too preoccupied with everything that's going on with my life that I fail to remember your importance.

I neglect your effort, I cease to consider your feelings.

Then in an instance, I felt that there's somethings missing..

there is a hollow space in my heart,

I stop and think what seems to be lacking.

Then I look at you.

When was the last time that I kiss you.

When was the last time that I glance at you.

When was the last time that I told you that I love you.

You're always there, waiting for me.

Patiently standing by.

Hanging unto me even though sometimes I became lost at my own world..

sometimes I became oblivious of your existence.

Then you smile at me.

It reminded me of everything that I feel for you.

How can I be so stupid.

I took you for granted again.

For days, we haven't had a normal conversation.

I'm always mad, I'm always busy.

But you never left. You hold unto me.

You tried to understand me.

Thank you,

for loving me unconditionally,

for not giving up on me.

And if I became foolish again,

I'm giving you permission to kiss me until I'm out of breath.

Cause I'm sure it'll jog my memory..

Remind me of my feelings for you.

Cause I love you like I never loved anyone before.

21 month.

Of course I get scared.

What if one day you'll wake up and realized how stupid it is to be with me.

I don't deserve you.

I know that.

But I want you.

You're the very opposite of me.

Your kind, I'm not.

You're hardworking, I'm lazy as cat.

You're calm, I'm harsh.

You're sweet, I'm cold.

Your just perfect.

For me, you are.

I still wonder what did you see in me.

Why are so in love with me? I cannot really comprehend it.

I am not that special, I'm not even beautiful. 

But you treat me as if I am. 

I have a huge attitude problem but you never lose patient with me.

I cant even understand myself but you seem to accept every bit of me.

How did you do that?

How did you made me feel so loved that I started to love myself a little bit more too?

How did you made me see that there's also good side of me?

How did you embrace even the worst version of me?

I know how hard it is to love me. That's why I'm scared. 

But you never fail to remind me, that I shouldn't be.

I use to be cynical about love,

but you bring back my faith in it.

Please bear with me.

Cause I love you.

I want to be a better version of myself because of you.

Happy 21 month babe♥

Hold on or Let go?

Yes. Nurse na ulet ako. At sa NICU ako naassign,kaya puro babies ang nasa paligid ko.  Masaya,pero minsan,hindi masyado.

Let me introduce you to Baby X. Due to privacy reason,I cannot post her real name or her face.
1 day old lang sya. She was born early,22 weeks pa lang sya,so halos wala pang 5 months sa tyan. Pero grabe,ang tibay nya,lumalaban. Usually,di tumatagal ng 24 hours ang mga gantong kapre-term,pero sya,lagpas na.  Napaisip tuloy ako... hirap na hirap sya, halata mong di pa sya handa na lumabas sa mundo, kelan ba masasabi kung hanggang kelan dapat pang ilaban o dapat ng ilet go? Di ko naman nakausap yung nanay nya.. pero ano kayang nararamdaman nya? Sa opinyon ko,oo siguro ang hirap mag let go,anak mo yan e,dinala mo ng ilang buwan, minahal mo. Pero mas mahirap na makita syang ganyan,nahihirapan, kakalabas pa lang pero kung ano-ano ng nararanasan. Opinion ko lang naman. Sino nga ba ko para humusga e di ko naman nararamdaman diba. Nakakalungkot lang na sa mura nyang katawan e kung anu-ano ng kotrapsyon ang nakakabit sa kanya. Pero kung sya nga lumalaban,bakit di nga naman naten bigyan ng pagkakakataon. Laban lang baby X,pero pag pagod kana,wag ka mag alala,wag matakot bumitaw, mas masaya sa dun sa pupuntahan mo.  May God bless you baby X.

20 months ♥

Its been 20 months since I've decided to give us a chance. I was hesitant at first, afraid that it will be just like my past failed relationships.  I was always so cynical about love, I never believed in it. Maybe because I came from a broken family and I witnessed a lot of heartbreaks. Honestly, even though we're already together, my mind always wonder when will you leave me or get tired of my temper. You get mad whenever I ask you to tell me if you don't love me anymore, assuring me that it'll never happen. And as days goes by, I begun to believe it. You don't just tell me how much you love me, you also show it. Every single day, you proved to me that this isn't just one of those silly love affair, its for real and its for keep. I cant remember when did I start believing, believing in us, and believing in love. I'd been in few relationship, but I never felt this way. I never trusted anyone wholeheartedly. I never plan my future with anyone else, except with you.
What I want to say is... you're different. This is different.You showed me that if I open my heart and bring down the wall that I built, I'll be happier.You made me fall in love. You made me believe in forever again. 

Fresh start?

My God. I've been planning this fresh start for a long time at wala namang nangyayari.
Why do I always procrastinate? I hate it.

I do need a goal, and a time frame.

I WILL BE IN DUBAI TO WORK AS A NURSE BEFORE 2015 ENDS. NO EXCUSES.

Here I go again.

A big disappointment. Yun yung feeling ko. Di ako sanay ng ganito. Since I was a kid, I am very competitive, kailangan laging winner, an achiever. Pero eto ako ngayon, almost 24, a registered nurse, earning a minimun wage, at ni wala pang maipagmamalaki. It sucks. I hate this feeling. Pero ganun talaga. Somehow, kasalanan ko din siguro..tamad ako, mahina ang loob, takot sa failure, takot sa rejection. I am trying my best to overcome that, pero ang hirap. There are times na I just breakdown and cry. Kasi parang walang nangyayari, kasi parang walang natutupad sa pangarap ko. 

Pero ano bang magagawa nun? Wala. Tsk. I am a big loser.

Pagbukas ko ng instagram, finafollow ko yung LORDPOST. Sabi dun, wag daw maging hopeless, kasi may plano si Lord.  I just have to wait for His perfect time. Lahat ng nangyayari, may dahilan sya, magtiwala lang at maniwala. Sana nga. Sana talaga.