Hold on or Let go?

Yes. Nurse na ulet ako. At sa NICU ako naassign,kaya puro babies ang nasa paligid ko.  Masaya,pero minsan,hindi masyado.

Let me introduce you to Baby X. Due to privacy reason,I cannot post her real name or her face.
1 day old lang sya. She was born early,22 weeks pa lang sya,so halos wala pang 5 months sa tyan. Pero grabe,ang tibay nya,lumalaban. Usually,di tumatagal ng 24 hours ang mga gantong kapre-term,pero sya,lagpas na.  Napaisip tuloy ako... hirap na hirap sya, halata mong di pa sya handa na lumabas sa mundo, kelan ba masasabi kung hanggang kelan dapat pang ilaban o dapat ng ilet go? Di ko naman nakausap yung nanay nya.. pero ano kayang nararamdaman nya? Sa opinyon ko,oo siguro ang hirap mag let go,anak mo yan e,dinala mo ng ilang buwan, minahal mo. Pero mas mahirap na makita syang ganyan,nahihirapan, kakalabas pa lang pero kung ano-ano ng nararanasan. Opinion ko lang naman. Sino nga ba ko para humusga e di ko naman nararamdaman diba. Nakakalungkot lang na sa mura nyang katawan e kung anu-ano ng kotrapsyon ang nakakabit sa kanya. Pero kung sya nga lumalaban,bakit di nga naman naten bigyan ng pagkakakataon. Laban lang baby X,pero pag pagod kana,wag ka mag alala,wag matakot bumitaw, mas masaya sa dun sa pupuntahan mo.  May God bless you baby X.

Nurse May.

Sorry sa pic, eto lang kuha ko today e.

Yes,first day. Nurse ulet ako for the next 3 months.
I was given a chance na magtrabaho sa Rizal Provincial Hospital.
Mejo ok na yun, kesa naman sa wala diba.

Sa NICU ako naassign, di ko masyadong gusto pero atleast bagong experience.

Babies.Babies and Babies. I love babies kaso doble ang selan.
Kailangan precise lahat ng ginagawa mo kundi konting pagkakamali e buhay ang kapalit.
Though ganun naman sa lahat ng pasyente, pero ang baby kasi e di naman makakapagsalita.
Kahit may masakit na, wala kang kaidi-idea.
Kaya goodluck na lang samen.

Excited ako at kinakabahan.
Antagal kong natengga. Kaya ko pa ba?
Sana. Dapat pala. Dapat talaga.

Lost.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't know what I want.
I am already a registered nurse, but sometimes, I ask myself..Do I really want this job?
Most of the time, the answer is no. Sometimes, I realized I already became attached to it.




Then I fell in love with baking. I studied at TESDA to learn how to do it. I was obsessed. I baked a lot for a very long time, well, while I'm not working. It also became a business. Me and my cousin decided to  open up an online shop. It is called Sweet Creations. We make cakes,cupcakes, cakeballs and everything that we can. It was a lot of fun. Though because of some issues, we started to be inactive with the shop. But here are some of the products that we made.

I also sell things online like beauty products and fashionable items. And I'm  fond of it. I feel accomplished whenever I see my client happy and my sales is good.

Now, I still question myself. What do I really want to do? Being entrepreneur sounds good to me, I also want to try the pastry and baking world, but how about my career? I studied 4 years and took a hard core exam just to be nurse. There were times that I feel that being a nurse is somehow rewarding because it gives me a chance to help people. Its exhausting but at the same time you'll get use to it and start enjoying it.

I'm 24 and still lost. Its a bit scary but I'm taking my time. I'll do it, all at once, while I can:)